Caregiver Polly Hazlewood has found her voice

Here’s how a mother of twins with a rare genetic condition made her way back into the workforce – and the ears of millions across the globe.

A few short years ago, the co-host of one of Britain’s most popular podcasts was told she’d never work again.

Why? Because she’d given birth to twins with an alarmingly uncertain future. Twins with a genetic condition so rare that it doesn’t have a name – and no one else in the world is known to share it. Twins that bring their mum, Polly Hazlewood, daily joy.

“They’re five now – and they’re doing so well,” says Polly from their home in Suffolk, which she and her husband, Sam, are in the process of modifying for the twins. “They’ve got lots of complex needs, but they’re just the easiest children to entertain because everything makes them happy. Everything, you know? The wind in the trees makes them happy.”

Despite her dire career prognosis, a global audience currently tunes into Polly and her best friend, journalist Anna Whitehouse, hostingDirty Mother Pukka– a conversational podcast showcasing women from all walks discussing sex, friendships and careers with refreshing candour.

In August of last year, the duo published an episode titled ‘Are you really inclusive?’ where, for the first time, Polly publicly shared some of her parenthood experience.

In response to a survey that indicated 90 per cent of their listeners thought they were inclusive, Polly said: “I am a parent of children that have multiple learning difficulties. They are non-verbal and they have physical disabilities, so there are lots of different challenges that they’re going to face in life. I'm their parent and I’m only just learning about inclusivity.”

Nowadays, while keeping much of her home life private, Polly advocates for the disability community and fellow caregivers from Dirty Mother Pukka’s platform. She’s also studying to become a sexoligist, all while caring for her son and daughter.

Although sharing the same genetic makeup, Polly says her children have very distinct personalities and vastly different medical challenges. Those challenges were first flagged during her pregnancy and, as soon as her babies were born, the specialists flooded in.

“I remember having a conversation with a geneticist after we’d run out after a meeting where we’d been told the twins were never going to be healthy and we could expect all these horrendous things,” Polly recalls, having previously shared on her podcast that, as new parents, she and Sam were informed that their children weren’t likely to live past the age of 10.

“It all felt very, very surreal – I think we even came out and laughed, you know? It was just bonkers.

“We chased after this geneticist and asked, ‘what does this all mean?’ She told us that one of us would need to stay home with the children. So I thought, ‘well that’s it then. I’m never going to work again’.”

At the time, Polly was playing “trailing spouse” to Sam whose job had seen the couple moving abroad. Prior to this, having trained in theatre and made her way into education, Polly was running a school that she’d helped establish in London.

“I was so disillusioned by the education system in this country,” she says. “We kill creativity and curiosity in kids by the age of five. There’s so much academic pressure and so much focus on standardised tests, so I wanted to do something very different and had this opportunity to start literally from scratch, in hard hats, building everything.”

The school had just opened when Sam got an opportunity to work in Los Angeles. “I fully supported that, but it meant that I wasn’t able to work because of the visa situation. Which, after kind of coming from this kind of passion project and feeling like I’ve got a cause and a purpose, was like a real dagger to my heart.”

While living in LA, Polly and Sam embarked on a rough road to starting a family and, after undergoing IVF, welcomed their twins into a medical whirlwind.

“I’ve always had this habitual pattern where I dissociate – and when the kids were born, that part of me was exaggerated,” says Polly. “I just couldn’t deal with anyone else’s emotions. I needed to be militant about being in the here and now, so I literally didn’t see anyone for six months. It was just me and the kids, the nurses, and my mum.”

When Sam went back to work, Polly hunkered down at home and found her feet as a full-time caregiver. A role that’s as relentless today as it was back then.

“It’s exhausting,” Polly says. “I know other parents have battles with getting shoes on in the morning and getting kids dressed and out the door, but our children need support with everything. You’re feeding them, you're plugging them into machines, you’re putting on their splints, you’re getting them out of one piece of equipment and into another. You’re doing everything.”

When the pandemic hit, Polly and Sam returned to the UK with their twins. And at this point, with the help of therapy, Polly’s perspective shifted.

“I was in a place where I was like, I have to start taking risks in my life. I have to find my voice and put myself back out there. Because, as any mother knows, it's really hard to put yourself first and remember what it is that makes you happy. I needed to have a purpose beyond the kids. And what became more important to me – although I didn't realise it at the time – was the thought in the back of my mind of losing them. What does my life look like after they’ve gone? That, for me, became even more of a drive.”

Enter Anna Whitehouse, ready to relaunch her Dirty Mother Pukka podcast with Polly as its new co-host. Anna didn’t, however, tell Polly of her plan until the pair were in the studio and mic’d up.

“She knew what she was doing because if she’d told me anything, I was going to be like, I can't do that,” Polly laughs. “So it was a bit of a baptism of fire, but she’s been a rock in my life. I feel like I’ve been hugged all the way through it and it’s just been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It really has. Because it’s helped me regain a sense of identity.”

Polly has now established herself as a relatable, quick-witted and empathetic podcast host. And while the ride-or-die friendship and banter between herself and Anna is audio candy, the pair also dive deep into issues impacting women – often in the context of the workforce.

“It’s really interesting because, after starting this job, I’ve felt quite a lot of judgement and criticism coming my way – mostly from women, which is surprising,” says Polly. “It’s very subtle but it’s there and the subtext is, don’t you want to be at home for your kids?

“But my argument is, I know what my life looked like when I dedicated every waking hour to being the occupational therapist, the physical therapist, the nurse, the mum – all of that stuff. It wasn’t good. I wasn't healthy, I wasn’t even there. I was dead behind the eyes, you know? And now it's like I’ve come back to life. I’ve got energy when I’m with them which is, to be fair, still most of the time. I think it's really important that we have our own projects and opportunities to find a way to be us in all of this.”

In October, Polly will hit West End’s Duchess Theatre stage at Dirty Mother Pukka’s first live event as a fully qualified sexologist. With a very pregnant Anna at her side.

“When she told me she was having a baby, to be honest with you, I was like, well, you’ve ruined my fking life, because we were having so much fun!” laughs Polly. “She was really worried about my reaction to her being pregnant because she knows that – while I absolutely adore my kids and they give me so much joy – I didn’t really experience any joy in pregnancy. But as I told Anna, because we’re so close, I’m getting to experience some of the joy I didn’t have.”

Looking back, Polly has one word for how she feels about what’s happened in her 43 years of life: grateful.

“I’m so grateful. I know now that when trauma happens, you can focus on the hope. You can focus on the light. It is bloody hard, but if you keep on that path and you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you come out of those experiences and you can look back and think, oh my fking god, there was some light out of that. There’s always light out trauma. There’s always growth.

“This new perspective that I have in life hasn’t just come from anywhere. It's come from having children like mine that have taught me so much about the value of life and the beauty in the small things and the human connection. That is, to me, the most important thing. The way people wrap their arms around you in moments like that just show you how much you're loved. And that’s what I want to give back.”

You can follow Polly on her Instagram account . Tune into the Dirty Mother Pukka podcast on your favourite podcast platform. Find more information and purchase tickets for the Dirty Mother Pukka live event here .

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