Leaning into your autistic child's interests

Does your child have something they're really passionate about? Something that they love to talk about and do?

Many neurodivergent children, particularly those who are autistic, may have a passion or special interest that they want to spend a lot of time engaging with. You may notice that they ‘hyper focus’ on this interest. This means that they are able to focus on it for a very long period of time, often not really aware of what else is going on around them. This is actually an amazing skill to be able to have and could be used as a real strength in the future - if they are able to do a job connected to their interests, they will be a very dedicated employee!

Some parent-carers can feel like their child only wants to talk about their interests, which can feel frustrating. However, for many autistic people this is how they show you that they are comfortable with you and want to engage with you - by sharing facts with you about something they love. So, consider it a compliment when your child talks to you about their special interest or passion.

Try to use your child's interests as a way to motivate them, by weaving it into tasks that you need them to do. For example, if your child loves animals or dinosaurs, add stickers or pictures of this to a shopping list, to give them something comforting to focus on when they are in the supermarket. If you can find shampoo, toothpaste, shower gels that connect to your child's interests, this can reduce some anxiety around using these items. These ‘distractors’ aren’t magic fixes, as your child may well have many sensory sensitivities that are affecting how easy they find it to go to a supermarket or wash their hair, but it can help them feel a little bit less fearful about some of these things.

Finally, many autistic children find it much easier to make friends with people who have similar interests. This gives them something concrete to talk about, and often removes the need for social ‘chitchat’ which many autistic people find a little mystifying. You could ask your school if there is anybody else in the in the school who shares your child's interest and whether they could they have some time together. Or you might wish to look for clubs in your community where your child can meet other people with the same interest. There may even be online groups your child could join (properly supervised) that allow them to connect with other people with the same interest in other parts of the country.

Sadie Gillett is a thought leader in neurodivergence, with a focus on autism. She has 25 years’ experience working with autistic young people, their families, and their schools.